Decision Making

I had made a wrong decision today, although it is a small thing, it really affected my emotion. It let me realized that not every decision that we make is right, we need to go through some incidences to let us see what's the things we need to improve, to lead us be nearer to 100% right decision. I really need wisdom from God to lead me. I had once thought that I just do what is best for myself, I just enjoy myself, no need to think about other people, that will only burden myself. My heart can not take it, too many emotions in my heart. But is it really the right way?

Everything Is Under God's Control

The things that happen around us are being "arranged". Sometimes there are so many incidents, that you think that is bad incident, around you, however, it will be an opportunity to let us see God, that is not bad at all! There is no coincidence, everything is under God's control.

This is my actual experience with my brothers and sisters in Christ. On the way we, the girls went to lrt station by car, when we wanted to make a turn, we stopped because we realized that the space is not enough, then we stopped. Suddenly, bang! A motorbike had a crush on us. We then parked our car aside and negotiated with the motorist. At this moment, the first thing that appear in our mind is money, "Do we need to pay?", "Is there any scratch in my car?", but not "Is the motorist okay?" or "Is he injured?". During our discussions in a peaceful environment, it is so easy that we say we should show God's image, because we are God's people, but when we face some stress, real situation, can we really do it? But God is faithful and patient, this is the opportunity that he gave us to learn practically in this area. Although this time we make a mistake, He will train us until we can do it. =)

Then, we parked our car at lrt station, enjoyed our orchestra show at klcc, way back to home. We almost forgot the incident just now. We board our car, started the engine, you guess what happen. Two of the tyres are flat! What should we do?! We can not go back! The only thing we can do is ask help from other people. The first person in my mind is our brother, Kai Sin. We called him and Uncle Ooi and Teng are there too! In 2 hours, they changed the tyres and pump it at the petrol station nearby, and we found that this incident was did by someone intentionally. Uncle Ooi taught each of us the way to change tyre. So, thank you so much our brothers! Again, this is arranged by God, originally they have their meeting every Tuesday, but this week it is changed to Thursday night. The timing is "ngam ngam hou"!

Thank you so much God, for letting all these things happen! Maybe for other people they will feel that "Why am I so bad luck today?! God, why did you do this to me?!" But for us, this is a very good practical experience for us, to let us learn to reflect God's image, let us realize that He is with us, He has his own reasons to let all these incidents happen, let us help one another who is in difficulty, let us learn something which we can not learn in bible study or inside the classroom. Again, thank you Lord that you make everything under your control!

从窗口望出去的日子

日复一日，从窗口望出去的日子已有三个多星期了，复杂又无奈的心情天天侵入我心。这对我来说真的是一个考验，当朋友们一起出去或有活动时不能一起享受那个美好时光，不能去上课，不知追不追得上功课，连过自己基本生活都需要别人的帮忙，什么都做不了，每天处在焦虑及忧虑中，时常担心自己是否伤到膝盖‘手术成功吗，造成失眠，可能也是因为睡觉时不能移动脚。实在是太多时间让我胡思乱想了，每天处在自己的世界里，就算是膝盖有少许不妥都会担心一整天。只听到自己在心里想的东西，对上帝的信念逐渐下降，是因为我太容易被环境影响吗？我好像又跌回去了，变回还是小孩，心智不成熟的我，只想封闭我自己。

修复期已过了一半，今天听到物理治疗师说我的进展很好，当场松了一口气。也谢谢朋友们和家人的鼓励，我对自己说，这只是一个过渡期罢了，一个考验，过了后我就不用再受脚痛的折磨了，看到医院里的病人，我不禁感到庆幸，所以去医院复诊也是我鼓励自己的方法之一。希望藉着每天宁休的时间，可以拉近与上帝的距离，就算是我曾经遗弃祂，祂还是对我不离不弃，陪伴在我身旁。我想只有这个办法可以避免我胡思乱想，对我现在遭遇的懂得感恩，而不是埋怨。很快地从窗口望出去的日子就会结束，我也有所成长。

Helping Hand

There was a bad news for me last 2 weeks, the operation that initially done on 5th of May was postponed. It made me so worry that the doctor didn't give me a new date of operation when he told me it was delayed, he just asked me to come to see doctor again after 3 weeks. My new semester will start in July! What am I gonna do?! It's too late if I make my operation appointment again after 3 weeks!

After struggling for a week, I decided to go to find doctor without an appointment. For public hospital, we can not see doctor without an appointment, and we can not choose freely the day of operation as we like. However, God opened the doors for me! Firstly, at the registration counter, the lady who was very strict was not there, and the nurse was so good, she helped me to go inside and ask the doctor. Secondly, because I was a walk in patient, so I was the last one who consulted the doctor. But God opened the second door for me, after waited for 10 minutes, my name was being called, I was so surprise that I no need to wait until the last one. And at last, God again opened a door for me, a good doctor that I met last time was my medical consultant this time, I thought it's someone else, because his name was not in the on duty doctor list on the white board, really thank God, I no need to say anything and the doctor directly helped me to schedule my operation. He patiently checked day by day for an empty slot, made my operation as early as possible. With God's helping hand, I get an operation date at 30th June.

Before I went to the hospital I was so afraid, afraid that the nurse will not let me in, afraid that the doctor will not give me a confirm date for operation. In the time I was waiting outside, I clicked into my mobile Bible, and it showed a verse to me:

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be afraid, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."- Isaiah 41:10

And He is faithful, He really helped me and uphold me by opening these 3 doors for me. I really thank Him so much! As long as I believe in Him and follow His ways, He will make my path straight.

My Feeling After Exam

Yeah! My exam had finished! But I didn't really feel happy. I was too naive, thought that I studied randomly also could get good result, however I felt regret with my last subject, not because of the result was very bad, but because of I didn't try my best. I took this burden in my heart for a few days, until God's word comforted my heart.

Proverbs 3:11-12

My son, do not despise the Lord's discipline and do not resent his rebukes, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.

This verse really comforted me. This was a training for me from Him, like a father trained his son, to be a better person, to be more discipline. Maybe I was too lazy recently, not focus in study, always tempted by computer during study period, this was a hint from Him. I really thank God for giving me this conscious, this wisdom, letting me realize it, that is much more important than the result that I gain. Not only in study area, I will be more discipline in other areas too in the future.

The matter in the past just let it be, the important thing is the future. But I will still keep this lesson from God in my heart, and do my best in everything everyday, not wasting time which is precious, and use my holiday in a beneficial way.

Visit of An Old Friend

My feeling now is very complicated. I feel a little bit sad, but I know that I have a lot of things haven't done, my assignment that I am not able to do, my study that is a lot. Feel a little bit lonely but can not go home, because the new tenant will come to see the house this Tuesday, have class and quiz this Wednesday night, have to do assignment and submit this Friday and I don't know what can be submitted by me this week.

My old friend who I have a long time didn't meet is going to leave now, going back to her university. She comes here this time is to relax, find herself so that she can continue her study in peace and passion. I try my best to help her and encourage her these 2 days, because I know that the only solution for her is by strengthening her heart. Hope that she gets back her mood and strength to continue her life there. Will miss her here.

The following few days will be a good opportunity for me to study, because nobody I can talk to. But the incompleted assignment take the peace away from my heart, I can not concentrate in my study. So I decided to do it tomorrow, if really can not do it then I just give up, at least I tried it. Pray that God will give me wisdom and peace during these few weeks, concentrate in what I should do, not being disturbed by my personal feeling. And hope that the tenant will like the unit that I'm staying now so that I can move next semester. What I face now is not a big deal, this is the process of growing in me, so that I will be more mature. There is no use to complain, what I can do now is just lean on Him and take action in His guidance.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your path straight. - Proverbs 3:5-6

A Message For Us

Recently we noticed something, something that is bad in us, something we should change. That is when some new members join us in some occasions, a few close friends of mine and I will sit in a group and only talk on our own, seldom ask the new member to join us. This is really bad, as a child of God we should not do this, because He asks us to love our neighbors as we love ourselves, so the new members are our neighbors too!

Last weekend, we had our dinner together in Easter, with one of my friends who seldom joined us. We made the same mistake again, and my friend just look at us when we were talking. From his eyes and expression, I felt that he was evaluating us. He didn't join us just like a bunch friends hanging out together like last time anymore, there was a lot of thought in his mind. I didn't like this feeling, I felt bad that night. Is it because I am not good enough? Is it because I looked strange and weird for him? These questions were floating in my mind for the whole night. I think, if we showed our warmth and friendliness and talked more to him that night, maybe this would not happen.

So, we had decided that starting from this week, I will not just care about myself and a few of my close friends only, but also care about the people around us, ask them to join together, share happiness and sadness together. I believe that this not only can wipe out the feeling of being isolated in new members, but also can build each other up in a body, body of Christ!